Really this is not rhetorical.
Who out there as ever heard of (or
used) a
Light keeper Pro? It is dubbed as "the complete tool for fixing lights"... Christmas lights that is. You know the kind you test before you hang from the eves of the 2
nd story of your house. The same ones that work perfectly on the ground, but somehow get
stagefright once they're hung. Or what about the ones on your artificial Christmas tree... yes those beautiful little gems twinkling nicely that come already attached to the tree? Those are the kind of lights I'm talking about!
Let me start at the beginning. Around here I am the one who strings up the lights. Every year I replace at least one whole string because they stop working. Being the planner that I am I buy at least 1-3 boxes of lights each year when they go on clearance, so I'm always ready for the next year. Well somehow this year 3 out of 4 of last years were not working. So I open brand new box #1, NOT working (whoa, doing the math very slowly, I realize that I will be short a string and thus unable to complete the task at hand) grumble, grumble. Plug in brand new box #2 ... NOT working. HUH? maybe my outlet just freaked out on me, try another outlet... still not working. Quickly grabbed 3rd new box and luckily they worked. So recap.. of the seven strings before me only
TWO of them are working. The thought of tossing 5 strings of lights into the trash makes me sick to my stomach. (we are talking about the icicle ones, that are really heavy and take up lots of space) Oh well what else can I do, they're junk and must be disposed of. There is no way of fixing them, I'm not an electrician.
Fast forward 2 days now we are assembling the tree that we bought 2 years ago. I plug it in and stagger in utter shock and disbelief as only 3 branches light up. What the HECK, doesn't anything last these days? Shake the tree... nothing.
Shake harder... *
thinking choice words I am careful not to utter*... still nothing. Think about
crying, decide not yet, there must be something else I can try. Start checking fuses with some gadget that tells you if they are good or not. They are all fine. Decide I can't deal with this right now, try again tomorrow.
Next day Anthony spends almost an hour trying to figure out what the problem is. No luck.
Repeat. Repeat again. *thinking more choice words*In desperation I try surfing the web for an answer. A few threads about removing the "white safety bulb" that will render the whole string useless. Then low and behold I started reading testimonials about this
lightkeeper pro gizmo. Sounds magical so I scoff and look for something useful. More about this gizmo. I decide I'm going to try and remove the "safety" bulb, what could it hurt? Well this bulb does not come out, so I get the pliers, I
will win. Bulb shatters, micro shards of glass everywhere. Wow this is not what I had in mind. Still have to fish base of bulb out.
I won. Now I put a new bulb in and ... nothing. I am now ready to illuminate the tree with real candles, in hopes of a grand finale to that blasted tree. I look out the window and wonder how none of my neighbors seem to have this problem. Disgusted I go to bed. In the morning I decide I am desperate enough to try this
lightkeeper pro thingy. Four stores later and lots of strange looks, I am back on the web trying to find all possible stores that carry them. Actually at
Lowes the guy that puts up all their Christmas decor said he uses it every year and has never had to replace a string of lights since he started using it. Now I
must have one. At last 1 store had one in the return bin and it looked like it had been on hold and not actually returned. I had Anthony pick it up on his way home from work and start right away. In less than 1 hour all
our lights were back in working order! *
I think I really heard the Hallelujah Chorus at this point* So now fess up, who knew? Have you all been using one for years?